Intention

 Our intention creates our reality    Wayne Dyer

I do believe that intention creates our reality in the sense that we need to know why we do the things that we do.  Are actions and decisions out of ego, to fit into society or what we really want? When we don't take the time to ascertain our intentions, we are at risk of following the crowd or worse... being listless, numb and stuck. 

I have not always taken the time to review my intentions during my life.  I wish I would have, perhaps I would have made better decisions and avoided some of the messiness.  Woulda Coulda Shoulda.  

I would like to try to explore intention as part of aging well. 

What is my intention in doing this blog?  First, it is just for me. I am not publishing it, but I do have the vague idea that perhaps someday I could print it out and make it into a book for my children and grandchildren and just maybe they get a little bit of wisdom out of it. My primary intention is for it to be a record of my rational for doing the things that I do.  A record of my consciousness.

I write/journal all of the time.  Journaling is a thought dump that I do to purge myself of the garbage in my head or sort out my thoughts.  I would like this blog to be a record of my presorted thoughts and intentions. To be a record of things I'm trying, paths I am willing to explore and if it works or not and if I am able to stay on the path. I want this blog to be a record of my thought process involved in making decisions, the rationale behind those decisions and affirming that the decisions are aligned with my values.  I am notorious for starting self-improvement plans and not following through.  I don't really look at this blog as self-improvement.  It's more of a way of living.  How I want to live now that I have the time to think about it and be intentional. I want to age well and by that, I mean be a person who is wise, thoughtful, positive, seeks the good, understands the bad and who lives with enthusiasm.  A non-complainer that made the best out of life, loved the good and learned from the bad.  This blog will be my record of my seeking out ways to be that person-what worked, what didn't.

If I can get very clear on my intention for my actions, why I do the things I do, I believe it will lend itself to authenticity and minimize disappointment and dissatisfaction at the same time.  Intention is clarity, clarity is meaning, meaning is purpose, purpose if a gift.

Aging Well

1.  Gratitude

2.  Intention

Interesting that neither of the above are related to physical health they are ways of thinking and being attentive that I will be able to do the rest of my life regardless of my health status.  That's a good thing. I wonder what else I will discover.

Gratitude

 The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched they must be felt with the heart      Helen Keller

Jacob the hunter

Heartfelt gratitude is the primary component of aging well.  Of all the things we bring with us through life gratitude is the most important.  To be grateful for who we are, how far we have come, what we have and our companions along the way. It is easy to say we are grateful.  Heartfelt gratitude is something different.  To feel it in our heart the gratitude needs to be recognized in the moment. To do that we must be very present and attentive.

The everyday gratitude's will sustain us throughout our lives, no matter how old we get.  We must seek them, always.

1. Jana
2. Janelle
3. Jacob
4. Jack
5. Mom
6. Dwilton
7. Linda
8. Mary
9. Brenda
10. Tammy
11. Friends
12. Daisy 
13. Home
14. Garden
15. Hydrangeas
16. Retirement
17. Flowers
18. Music
19. Sunlight on my face
20. Health
21. Ambition
22. Trees
23. Nature
24. Painting
25. Writing
26. Journaling
27. Coffee
28. Tea
29. Fresh snow
30. Rain
31. Curling up in bed with a book on Sunday afternoon
32. Books
33. A favorite reading chair
34. Walking
35. A bouquet of flowers on the counter
36. A clean house
37. Clean sheets
38. Muscles being just a little sore after working out
39. Having enough money
40. Meatloaf, squash and baked potatoes
41. Smelling freshly baked bread
42. A nice rainy day
43. Staying home when it's snowing and blowing
44. Taking a deep breath when it's really cold
45. Talking with my Mom
46. Texts from friends
47. Popcorn
48. Soft socks
49. Comfortable blue jeans
50. Hiking
51. Lake Superior
52. Worn out sheets-so soft
53. Worn out slippers
54. Organized cupboards and closets
55. Fall decorations
56. Christmas decorations
57. Making Thanksgiving dinner for my family
58. Having all my kids at home at once
59. Going out to lunch with my girls
60. Low rumbling thunder
61. A clear blue sky
62. Sunsets
63. Jake giving me a big hug
64. Rocking chairs
65. Green grass
66. Going barefoot
67. Rocking Jack
68. Soaking my feet
69. Waking up without an alarm
70. Snuggling under my down comforter
71. A warm shower
72. Warm mittens
73. Good boots
74. Being able to take a deep breath
75. A writing desk
76. Chickadees at the bird feeder
77. A thick heavy pen to write with
78. A nice book mark
79. Grapes hanging over my head in my arbor
80. The sound of a fountain
81. The taste of a homegrown fresh tomato
82. A falling leaf
83. Wind in the pines
84. Petting a dog
85. A great cup of coffee
86. Waking up slowly
87. Staying in pajamas
88. A soft bed
89. Geese Flying over head
90. Fitting into an old pair of jeans
91. A soft snow fall
92. An old mostly worn out sweatshirt
93. A pretty cup with a nice shape
94. Snuggling with my dog before we get up
95. Sun dogs
96. A full moon
97. Laughing until you cry
98. A great Netflix binge
99. Leftovers
100. Chili on a cold snowy day

Beauty

 

 Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them    Marcus Aurelius

For me beauty is not just an adjective it is a feeling generated by the senses.  We usually associate beauty with our sense of sight, yet I believe there might be more to it. The feeling of beauty might be generated by a profound nature setting like the picture of the Lutsen mountains above, but it is as much a feeling as a visual. If we look beyond sight and associate beauty with feeling, we know that it can come from every sense.  Smelling fresh cut grass in the spring-beautiful.  The softness of a fuzzy blanket-beautiful. The taste of coffee on a chilly morning-beautiful. Hearing your kid say I love you Mom-beautiful.

Beauty involves all the senses: sight, hearing, feeling, tasting, smelling.  It is the feeling generated by the senses that is the beauty.

The tricky part of beauty is that one needs to be paying attention and, in the moment, to see it. We can be so caught up in our own mental filing cabinets generating stories about the data in the filing cabinets that we don't absorb the feelings generated by our senses.

Today, I will pay attention to beauty.

Strength

 A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey-but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.   unknown

What is strength?  I used to think it was being completely independent and not relying on anyone for anything.  Making all of my own decisions. Head held high, marching forward through life.  I have been doing just that for a lot of years now and I am not sure that is strength. I thought it was, but I think I might be wrong.  The more I read and the feeling of exhaustion I get just in writing the above sentence makes me think I've had it wrong for a long time now.   Maybe strength is being vulnerable enough to say, I need some help?  I don't know if I can do all this by myself?  Letting the shield down long enough to look someone in the eye and say I need you... maybe that takes more strength than putting your head down, working harder and doing it all...alone.

I know I am strong...I've had to be.  That is the journey, making a person rise up to meet life's challenges and even if you can't overcome them, move past them, shrug your shoulders and keep going.  

To me real strength is a 4-step process.  Resilience is the word that covers all four steps it really is composed of GRIT and GRACE

2.  Getting over, around, through or at the very least shaking off life's challenges AND (and I can't stress the AND enough)  

3.  Ask for help AND

4.  Never complain AND if you can slap a smile on you get bonus points

Doorway Discomfort

  Discomfort may be a doorway; don't run from it    Joseph Dietch

I am uncomfortable.  I have a vague restless anxiety that is making me feel like I need/must do something.  I have always been a person of action.  "Do something, even if it's wrong" was a favorite quote of my mom's.  I am not completely comfortable without work.  I am not good at living in a state of discomfort.  Every cell in my body is pushing me to fix the discomfort and return to a normal state of being chronically busy.

The point I am at now is that I have tried a few jobs that really didn't work out and I've done everything in my house that needs doing.  Now what?  Now I wait.  I am in the process of doing some research about aging well.  I can't join a gym or anything else out of the house with this latest covid/flu surge and Jack so very little, so I will focus on creativity-crafts, painting and writing.  I am moving toward something, but I really don't know what yet.  I will take care of Jack and I have a feeling that will be something I look back on as a gift I was both able to give and receive.  I will see what works out for me in between taking care of Jack and my parents.  I just have to remember to fit myself in there too, I don't want to lose myself in all of this.

I have always done what was expected of me.  Now that I have an open door and no one pushing me through it I don't know what I want.  A lifetime of meeting others expectations leads to not knowing your own path.  It is time...  It is time...

Wisdom From Wonder

 Wonder is the beginning of wisdom   Socrates

I believe a life pilgramage is composed of many paths all on the same map. There is not going to be just one direction. Not one road that you move along on for the rest of your life. There are always going to be crossroads, sharp turns, rivers followed, and roads not taken.

The New Age idea is that we are not our roles.  Roles are ego related. I suppose it's true in the sense that we are spiritual beings with a light inside of us and are not what we do.... I just can't help but wonder if our roles are what formed us into who we are? Isn't it our choices and paths followed that bring us to our current road?

When I think of the roles, I have had wife, mother, nurse, niece, worker, co-worker, friend, gardener, daughter, granddaughter, in-law, spiritual seeker...   The actions taken and choices made during the implementation of those roles have formed who I am.  I have not executed those roles perfectly; of that I am certain.  I have tried my very best to learn from all of those experiences.  To look back on what I did well and not so well.  I believe that is where wisdom comes from.  An openness to learn.  A willingness to self-reflect.  To wonder about motivation, intention and result without battering ourselves with woulda, coulda shoulda.  To wonder what might have happened had a different road been taken, a new direction chosen.

I wonder and I can only hope that this wonder leads me to wisdom.  A wisdom that is softened by nonjudgement and unconditional acceptance that I can share gently with those who are walking the path beside me.