Mistakes

 The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything      Theodore Roosevelt

                                            

I do believe that saying is true.  To add to that.  The more you do and the more you try to do outside of your expertise or comfort the more likely you are to make a mistake.  I believe most mistakes come from rushing, not paying attention or not understanding what it is you are doing or the intention behind what you are doing.

My mom had a saying to counter act fear of making a mistake, " Do something, even if it's wrong."  That is a pretty good motto when you think about it.  In other words-Don't just stand there-take action.

The trick with mistakes is to not beat yourself up.  I think that I spent most of my twenties and thirties beating myself up for actual or perceived mistakes.  When I think about it, I get a chill.  Wasted hours, unnecessary stress, making up stories both to shame and defend myself.  So much of that came from a fragile ego and from no sense of self at all.   That was a bad time period for me and one I don't think I really got out of until I was into my forties, it peaked in my mid-thirties and gradually lessened.  I got released from that trap through a few things: about 500,000 dollars' worth of self-help books, talking with my friend who was going through much of the same, making mistakes and living through them and finally having enough hard hits that I had to and learned to release much of my ego.  If I could know then what I know now I think life could have been so much more fun and so much easier. 

Mistakes still are not easy for me.  As a recovering perfectionist they are still difficult.  I now am ego resistant and resilience strong both of which are cultivated states that grow over time.  

Bottom line: Take some risks, make some mistakes-tell your ego to take a hike and practice resilience and letting go.   Making mistakes gets easier.  Life gets easier.

Let It Be

 There will be an answer.  Let it be.  Paul McCartney

                                             

 

We need to be.  Just be.  We don’t need to be anything for anyone.  We just need to be who we are.  Sometimes that is the hardest thing to be of all.  There are so many influences on our lives.  Family, children, parents, coworkers, work, clogged drains, sour milk and dog vomit.

It is so easy to let these things define who we are.  We want to be the perfect Mom, so we snap at our children for making us look bad in public.  Are we acting out of love for our children, gently correcting their behavior or are we acting out of our own ego afraid what other people will think of us as if our children aren’t well behaved.  A coworkers off handed comment becomes a reflection on our character instead of a result of their bad day.

That mirror that we reflect other people's thoughts of us back to ourselves can be a circus mirror, full or distortions, bends and tricks of shape that fools us even though we are seeing with our own eyes.

Seeing the dog vomit as dog vomit, not the universe persecuting us for our sins.  The sour milk is sour milk not our lives gone down the tube and a sign of our inefficiency as a human being.

We can be who we are as humans of character and value and not look at the reflections of who we think we are based on what others may or may not think. 

Look inside, look the dog vomit square in the eye, grab a paper towel and think next time I won't give Benji the liver treats, not why does this always have to happen to me.  Assessment of what is- not judgement of what should have been.

Smell the milk, wrinkle your nose and pour it down the drain. Think, ok no cereal for breakfast what else is there.  Not..if only I were more organized.

Today is today… It is what is, it be what it be.  I am who I am. I am not defined by others judgement. I am a whole person.  I don’t need to work on myself.  I am perfect as I am.

In the words of those wonderful philosophers, the Beatles…Let It be…