Thresholds are a place of entry and exit. Transitions from one point to another. We recognize them during the big moments of life like birth and death. Although, I suspect there are many thresholds crossed during the process of living our lives that we pass over unrecognized.
For me 60 coincided with retirement and my kids leaving home. A big recognizable threshold, No unseeing this one. All change, even good change rips away the old and brings either a void or something new. I feel like I'm in the void at the moment and have been for a couple of years.
I now find I have something I have wished for during all those years of work and motherhood-time. It is a true gift and I do not want to waste it. Yes, I've done the big stuff-cleaning closets, a little remodeling some travel but I haven't fount "IT". That reason to get up in the morning. The thing that brings joy to me every day.
What happens next, after the great house cleaning of 2021-2022, is going to take a little more time to figure out. I will give myself the freedom to try things and see if they fit. It's not failure it is a fitting. No different than trying on pants and looking in the three-way mirror. During this past couple of years, I have tried working at both Noridian and the library and knew very quickly that it was not what I wanted. I have also cleaned apartments with my friend and that was a wonderful void filler but not exactly filling my spirit with joy.
For now, I will stand at the threshold and be open...
