Contentment

  If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.  Now put the foundations under them   Henry David Thoreau, Walden

Contentment is one of my values.  Contentment for me requires financial security, an orderly home and a reliable car.  I require security to feel truly comfortable.  I suppose if my faith were greater, I would not need it, but I do.  I need my bills paid. I need to have a cushion in the bank.  I also include in contentment-making my home and garden as beautiful as I can. This along with some small comforts like a soft blanket, coffee, my dog and a good book are enough to make me purr with contentment.  

In looking at this I can see that being married was a constant stressor for me, it was not in keeping with my value of contentment.  Marriage did not provide the security that I needed in this area.  We never had money, ever.  We never had money in the bank and constantly had unpaid bills.   I had given up the control of my earnings to my husband.  He told me I was bad with money, and I believed him.  In actuality I was bad with money, so he was not completely wrong.  I have learned a lot through the years.  Starting from scratch with my divorce was a BIG learning curve.  I learned to really manage my money at that time.  I think I would have before had I control over it.  Oh, well-it was my own poor decision to relinquish control. 

Live and learn is something I really do live by.  I have done very well.  To be retired at 59 is no small thing and for that I am truly grateful and content.