The Path of Hope

 Beautiful days do not come to you.  You must walk towards them.  Rumi

 

A pilgrimage is the travel of a pilgrim.  One of Webster's definitions of a pilgrim is one who travels to a holy site.  That feels exactly right for me.  Life is a pilgrimage.  Traveling to become my best self. feels a lot like holy work.  Don't we want to be the best souls we can be and pick up wisdom and kindness along the way?  That is what I want.  I want to learn, offer kindness and become a better person step by step.

I start by moving forward with what I have:  Gratitude and Intention. I'll find the rest as I go and change direction if I need be. 

The point of a pilgrimage is moving forward while paying attention. Not, contemplation, writing, and philosophizing but the action of putting one foot in front of the other to find out what is up ahead that can't be seen from where I am today.  That sounds a lot like hope.  That sounds a lot like Grit and Grace.

Movin on....

Doorway Discomfort

  Discomfort may be a doorway; don't run from it    Joseph Dietch

I am uncomfortable.  I have a vague restless anxiety that is making me feel like I need/must do something.  I have always been a person of action.  "Do something, even if it's wrong" was a favorite quote of my mom's.  I am not completely comfortable without work.  I am not good at living in a state of discomfort.  Every cell in my body is pushing me to fix the discomfort and return to a normal state of being chronically busy.

The point I am at now is that I have tried a few jobs that really didn't work out and I've done everything in my house that needs doing.  Now what?  Now I wait.  I am in the process of doing some research about aging well.  I can't join a gym or anything else out of the house with this latest covid/flu surge and Jack so very little, so I will focus on creativity-crafts, painting and writing.  I am moving toward something, but I really don't know what yet.  I will take care of Jack and I have a feeling that will be something I look back on as a gift I was both able to give and receive.  I will see what works out for me in between taking care of Jack and my parents.  I just have to remember to fit myself in there too, I don't want to lose myself in all of this.

I have always done what was expected of me.  Now that I have an open door and no one pushing me through it I don't know what I want.  A lifetime of meeting others expectations leads to not knowing your own path.  It is time...  It is time...