Showing posts with label resilience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label resilience. Show all posts

Sunday, June 18, 2023

Mistakes

 The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything      Theodore Roosevelt


                                            



I do believe that saying is true.  To add to that.  The more you do and the more you try to do outside of your expertise or comfort the more likely you are to make a mistake.  I believe most mistakes come from rushing, not paying attention or not understanding what it is you are doing or the intention behind what you are doing.

My mom had a saying to counter act fear of making a mistake, " Do something, even if it's wrong."  That is a pretty good motto when you think about it.  In other words-Don't just stand there-take action.

The trick with mistakes is to not beat yourself up.  I think that I spent most of my twenties and thirties beating myself up for actual or perceived mistakes.  When I think about it, I get a chill.  Wasted hours, unnecessary stress, making up stories both to shame and defend myself.  So much of that came from a fragile ego and from no sense of self at all.   That was a bad time period for me and one I don't think I really got out of until I was into my forties, it peaked in my mid-thirties and gradually lessened.  I got released from that trap through a few things: about 500,000 dollars' worth of self-help books, talking with my friend who was going through much of the same, making mistakes and living through them and finally having enough hard hits that I had to and learned to release much of my ego.  If I could know then what I know now I think life could have been so much more fun and so much easier. 

Mistakes still are not easy for me.  As a recovering perfectionist they are still difficult.  I now am ego resistant and resilience strong both of which are cultivated states that grow over time.  

Bottom line: Take some risks, make some mistakes-tell your ego to take a hike and practice resilience and letting go.   Making mistakes gets easier.  Life gets easier.

Sunday, February 12, 2023

Strength

 A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey-but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.   unknown




What is strength?  I used to think it was being completely independent and not relying on anyone for anything.  Making all of my own decisions. Head held high, marching forward through life.  I have been doing just that for a lot of years now and I am not sure that is strength. I thought it was, but I think I might be wrong.  The more I read and the feeling of exhaustion I get just in writing the above sentence makes me think I've had it wrong for a long time now.   Maybe strength is being vulnerable enough to say, I need some help?  I don't know if I can do all this by myself?  Letting the shield down long enough to look someone in the eye and say I need you... maybe that takes more strength than putting your head down, working harder and doing it all...alone.

I know I am strong...I've had to be.  That is the journey, making a person rise up to meet life's challenges and even if you can't overcome them, move past them, shrug your shoulders and keep going.  

To me real strength is a 4-step process.  Resilience is the word that covers all four steps it really is composed of GRIT and GRACE
2.  Getting over, around, through or at the very least shaking off life's challenges AND (and I can't stress the AND enough)  
3.  Ask for help AND
4.  Never complain AND if you can slap a smile on you get bonus points


Things Ive learned from my Mom

  Strong daughters come from strong mothers Jeanene                                            I have learned a lot from my Mom.    1.  Hard...