ABC Always Be Conscious

 If we are numb for the bad moments, we are numb for the good ones too   Brene Brown

 Always Be Conscious is one of my mantras.  

The thing about a trauma filled childhood is that to live through the tough times we develop ways to separate ourselves from the present.  I used food and fantasy to remove myself from reality because it was just too difficult for a little girl to stay present.  As a young married adult, I was so focused on building the perfect family I was two steps ahead of what I was actually doing. To numb the pain of perfection I smoked and when I quit smoking, I ate.  By numbing the present moment, we numb the good feelings and the bad. Allowing ourselves to feel our feelings in real time releases the bad feelings instead of holding them in our cells and forcing us to use the plunger of addiction to keep them forced down. The same holds true for the good moments, if we felt those feelings instead of numbing them, we would remember the good times more clearly.  Isn't that what we want? Release what doesn't serve us and hold on to the moments of Grace.

I have a few strategies I have been using to stay conscious on this journey.

1.  Breath work:  Just breathing, feeling my breaths or saying a mantra like So Hum

2.  Gratitude:  As I go through the day, I look for things to be grateful for

3.  No numbing:  On this journey I will not numb with alcohol, food or by being two steps ahead of the moment. I was going to write try not to numb but want to remain true to: No more trying.  Just do it.  Choose it.  Keep loving yourself until you really feel it deep in your heart.  

I will just do it, I choose it. 

Gratitude

 The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched they must be felt with the heart      Helen Keller

Jacob the hunter

Heartfelt gratitude is the primary component of aging well.  Of all the things we bring with us through life gratitude is the most important.  To be grateful for who we are, how far we have come, what we have and our companions along the way. It is easy to say we are grateful.  Heartfelt gratitude is something different.  To feel it in our heart the gratitude needs to be recognized in the moment. To do that we must be very present and attentive.

The everyday gratitude's will sustain us throughout our lives, no matter how old we get.  We must seek them, always.

1. Jana
2. Janelle
3. Jacob
4. Jack
5. Mom
6. Dwilton
7. Linda
8. Mary
9. Brenda
10. Tammy
11. Friends
12. Daisy 
13. Home
14. Garden
15. Hydrangeas
16. Retirement
17. Flowers
18. Music
19. Sunlight on my face
20. Health
21. Ambition
22. Trees
23. Nature
24. Painting
25. Writing
26. Journaling
27. Coffee
28. Tea
29. Fresh snow
30. Rain
31. Curling up in bed with a book on Sunday afternoon
32. Books
33. A favorite reading chair
34. Walking
35. A bouquet of flowers on the counter
36. A clean house
37. Clean sheets
38. Muscles being just a little sore after working out
39. Having enough money
40. Meatloaf, squash and baked potatoes
41. Smelling freshly baked bread
42. A nice rainy day
43. Staying home when it's snowing and blowing
44. Taking a deep breath when it's really cold
45. Talking with my Mom
46. Texts from friends
47. Popcorn
48. Soft socks
49. Comfortable blue jeans
50. Hiking
51. Lake Superior
52. Worn out sheets-so soft
53. Worn out slippers
54. Organized cupboards and closets
55. Fall decorations
56. Christmas decorations
57. Making Thanksgiving dinner for my family
58. Having all my kids at home at once
59. Going out to lunch with my girls
60. Low rumbling thunder
61. A clear blue sky
62. Sunsets
63. Jake giving me a big hug
64. Rocking chairs
65. Green grass
66. Going barefoot
67. Rocking Jack
68. Soaking my feet
69. Waking up without an alarm
70. Snuggling under my down comforter
71. A warm shower
72. Warm mittens
73. Good boots
74. Being able to take a deep breath
75. A writing desk
76. Chickadees at the bird feeder
77. A thick heavy pen to write with
78. A nice book mark
79. Grapes hanging over my head in my arbor
80. The sound of a fountain
81. The taste of a homegrown fresh tomato
82. A falling leaf
83. Wind in the pines
84. Petting a dog
85. A great cup of coffee
86. Waking up slowly
87. Staying in pajamas
88. A soft bed
89. Geese Flying over head
90. Fitting into an old pair of jeans
91. A soft snow fall
92. An old mostly worn out sweatshirt
93. A pretty cup with a nice shape
94. Snuggling with my dog before we get up
95. Sun dogs
96. A full moon
97. Laughing until you cry
98. A great Netflix binge
99. Leftovers
100. Chili on a cold snowy day

60 and Grateful

 Gratitude turns what we have into enough Aesop

I don't know how I got to be 60.  I am so grateful to be at this place in my life.

 Ten reasons I am grateful to be 60:

1.  I have time to be a support for my children

2.  I have time to be a support for my parents

3.  I have an inner peace I did not have before

4.  I now live life more slowly and appreciate it so much more

5.  I have learned that hard times come but they also pass

6.  I know things improve faster if you don't dwell on them

7.  I pay attention to what I want not what I don't want

8.  I no longer see things as good/bad, black/white-it is all middle ground and that requires more understanding but makes so much more sense

9. I assess my intention when making a decision or taking action to make sure it fits with who I am and who I want to be

10.  I have learned that setting boundaries is the kindest thing I can do for myself and others because it prevents resentment and bitterness