No More Trying

 "No more trying. Just do it. Choose it. Keep loving yourself until you really feel it deep in your heart."  Crystal Starr Weaver

In the-just do it-category I would like to relate a small epiphany I had a few years ago during a trip to Sedona.  Two friends and I signed up to walk the Medicine Wheel with Crystal Starr Weaver.  I know the name would make you wonder about legitimacy, but she was a wonderfully authentic and deeply spiritual person. I found walking the Medicine Wheel with her to be one of the most profound experiences of my life.  That experience was the beginning of this journey. After a good smudging she led us to the parking lot sized Medicine Wheel, the first question was, "how much do you love yourself on a scale of one to ten?"  Yikes, I started silently crying and with tears running down my face said a four.  She said that you must love yourself as a ten. We are only capable of loving others as much as we love ourselves.  

That was an earth mover.  My children are the light of my world, and I was only loving them at a four?  That opened up a can of worms that has yet to have a lid.  When I said I would try to love myself at a ten, Crystal Staff Weaver said, "No more trying. Just do it. Choose it. Keep loving yourself until you really feel it deep in your heart."  

I am, at last, at a point where I am ready to live those words and that is where this pilgramage of Grit and Grace has begun, Do I love myself at a ten level right now?  No, but I'm up to about an 8 so I've doubled it since my epiphany moment.  That is what this pilgrimage is about, loving myself at a ten so I can love others at a ten.